Accepting my cultural identity

Although I've worked in the capital city in my country for many years, this year on Indian Arrival Day was the first time I've ever worn Indian Wear to work. I realised that I was the only person at the Ministry of Health Head Office in Port-of-Spain who bothered to do so. I've been known to support Emancipation and wear African wear on Emancipation and for the first time, I felt it was finally time to acknowledge an event that is more relevant to me. Lunchtime, I proceeded to walk down Charlotte Street and go into Pennywise. Again, I noticed no one else in Indian Wear. A number of Indo-Trinidadians I interacted with at work did not remember the holiday today was confused about my chosen wear.

So this is my confession........ Throughout my life I have fought against indo-centric obsessing. I refused to listen to Indian music or look at movies since as a young girl I was an advocate for fostering a uniquely Trinidadian identity that focused on elements of a new culture, derived on our shores. I was even accused once of being anti-Indian since I tended to distance myself a lot from Indian culture. I must admit, I may have done it also to ensure others knew that I didn't have a segregated mindset.

Fast track many years later, being in an interracial marriage, I feel I don't have to fight against any isolated system any longer and I feel comfortable for the first time to now appreciate all the cultural backgrounds that I belong to, especially the predominant one... Indian.

On the actual holiday itself, not a single greeting or post about Indian Arrival day except one from Cousins Whatsapp group. Not an acknowledgment by a work WhatsApp group, a church WhatsApp group or any other group I belong to.

Are Indo-Trinidadians ashamed to acknowledge this day? Or like me....are the younger generations carrying a fear of seeming segregated/Indo-centric that we are all together abandoning the acknowledgment of an Indian heritage?

While I don't plan on listening to Indian music (still not a fan), I do believe it is vital to simply acknowledge events that have contributed to our individual betterment. Ultimately, I am sooooo thankful for my ancestors leaving India and coming to Trinidad....I LOVE TRINIDAD! I couldn't imagine having to live in India with all the challenges women and darker women face. I appreciate every sacrifice and every practice that has been positive that has been passed on throughout the generations such as Indian sweets, financial stewardship practices and honouring elders.

I am blessed because of those before me. Who knows......maybe next year I will celebrate it again!