Take that Lunch break!

About five years ago, I was an award-winning worker, the type who never took lunch breaks, worked overtime, and sometimes on weekends for free. I felt very passionate about the work I was doing and felt like my work commitment was valuable to my country and to my boss who was a political figure. I was often expected to deliver work within minutes given the nature of my boss’ job demands. I gave 200%, slept with my phone next to me in the event there was an emergency. In fact, it seemed as if there was always an emergency which further fuelled my drive and increased my sense of resourcefulness to get the work done quickly. I loved the reputation that I was the one who could deliver in a short time frame. Even though, many times I unfairly suffered the reprimand of still not doing enough.

I was burning out, tired, eating poorly and the relationship with my boyfriend at the time (now my husband) was being affected.

One poignant day after work, I proceeded to walk down the length of the street in Port-of-Spain where I worked, sometime after eight at night to catch a taxi to get to the south of Trinidad where I lived. Yes, this was a common habit. The next day, I heard a story about a woman, who was raped along the same street around the same time. This was a pivotal and introspective moment for me. I acknowledged that I was overextending myself to the detriment of myself. The rewards of praises could never be worth jeopardising my personal safety or my physical health. How often I had worked through lunch and generally felt unwell and anxious.

It wasn’t long after that I quit the job after much prayer and consultation. I believe it was the day I chose myself. Obviously, it didn’t have to come to that if I perhaps stood my ground from day one about taking a lunch break or leaving the job on time.

Growing up, my father used to tell me if I didn’t take breaks, I would slowly begin to resent my job. How true this is!

It’s always important to have a healthy perspective on our work life. We weren’t just created to work, but for many of us, we work to enhance the aspect that matters most…our family life.

Before I met my husband, I would often say that my marriage would ALWAYS be more important than my job. I even promised that if a job negatively affected my marriage, I would leave it.

To this day, every birthday and anniversary has been a mandatory day off for both my husband and myself. I have remained committed to never compromise on this. If I believe my marriage needs some time, I will take the required vacation days to work on my marriage.

Thankfully, out of the overflow of a good marriage, it is easier to enjoy work. Even on the tough workdays, I know that my treasure and my happy place is returning to my playmate and my best friend. During my lunch hour, I try to read something online or try to take a walk to my favourite place, Charlotte Street! Lol. When I return, I feel refueled to continue working, knowing that I’ve taken some time for me. I believe this makes me a better worker.

Vacation days, casual leave and lunch breaks were fashioned by the experts who understood the multi-faceted aspects of human needs. The understanding that man shall not live by work alone, but needed those moments to stop and smell the roses….. or incense on Charlotte Street, perhaps some time to reflect and decide if you are going in the direction you want to and even time to ensure that the more meaningful relationships are sufficiently sustained.

Take that lunch break!

Managing work relationships

When I had recently entered the world of work, my father advised me not to create a habit of after-work ‘limes’ with co-workers. He believed it would be in my best interest long term.

We’ve all heard of work affairs at some point in our lives and the difficulties brought about by these alliances when they go awry. Well of course I know that most co-worker ‘limes’ are generally harmless and good for building greater camaraderie and closeness. However, we must find a way to ensure a healthy balance is fostered.

Relationships with supervisors

I’ve often found it expedient and mutually beneficial to maintain a healthy power distance with supervisors. For them, it can become awkward and somewhat difficult when there is a need to issue disciplinary measures. In many cases, disciplinary action becomes forfeited and management becomes more challenging.

Similarly, when a manager suddenly needs to be coercive or disciplinary, it is difficult for the employee to not take the action personally who then grapples with feelings of hurt and betrayal.

Relationships with co-workers

Managing relationships with co-workers can be more tricky. While we can’t ask that co-workers come to work every day with cherry smiles and warm greetings, WE can try to be that worker. I’ve worked at a place where a co-worker never said good morning, and I challenged myself to continue to greet her despite her cold hostility. Sure, I felt dumb many times, but I was determined that this person was not going to change who I was. Yes, I understand that a decision like this is yours to make.

We’ve also worked with the co-worker who is quick on the draw to spread negative news. Anything said quickly gets misconstrued and you waste time trying to prove to everyone you're better...truly a futile task. There are also, the ones who overly compensate and simply can’t be trusted since they never let you know what they don’t like about you but are always willing to enlighten you about other people's opinions about you. Then there are the slackers, the ones we’ve done the work for and always have some family drama going on. The list goes on…

Over the years, I’ve grown to appreciate the ones who speak much less and truly work hard. They inspire me to work better and be more focused at work. I intentionally befriend the ones with less drama.

It’s the best thing in the world, to be working in an ideal environment, but that is rarely the case since we have to engage with different personalities. Each person is shaped by their individual past, background and experiences…..some of which we can never relate to.

I’ve found it valuable to try to walk in someone’s shoes as much as possible with the information I do know. Also, I have resolved that every person has personal challenges, hormonal fluctuations, disappointments and worries that are different each day and that it is best to not take a person’s actions personally.

In fact, a healthy balance of short meaningful conversations and working independently has been positive for me.  It protects me from getting hurt and disappointed. Also, I can still be a blessing and genuinely care about them without jeopardising our friendships long-term.